I distinctly remember telling my husband during our first week at home with our newborn, "Daddy, I don't think I could go on with this! Hindi ko na ata kaya.." Of course, referring to most difficulties that first-time parents must go through: latching issues (can you say 'ow!!!'), a newborn who seemed to sleep thru the whole day (while we worry no end about hypoglycemia), a twitching c-section scar, lochia (na nakakaloka!), baby's piercing cries (wailing and lupasay-mode na iyak) from even just a drop of pee, fear of being fed black chicken (I don't know why, I just have a strong aversion to this ge-lai food haha), a general lack of sleep and the realization that our lives have really taken a different turn!
On our second day, I actually (desperately!) asked my mom and dad to come home already and just be here with me. Ganuong level na! It was almost an hour of crying over Viber and even my Auntie Nene had to comfort me through this. Never mind that the househelp and even my mother-in-law heard my sobs from the other room. They said being a mom would be instinctual and would come naturally, certainly wasn't the case for me. We definitely are going through a looong learning curve - learning by doing, practicing and just marching forward.
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Our darling daughter - Zara Mireille Lim |
Please don't get me wrong, I really love being a mom and we have been waiting for this moment since we got married :) I just didn't know that it would be THIS HARD to actually take care of a newborn baby with all her little but extremely urgent needs! Regardless of the books I read, the videos I watched, the prepared childbirth classes, breastfeeding classes and infant-care classes we have diligently attended, nothing could've really prepared me for this experience. AND it's just so easy to give up in the throes of extreme fatigue, zero sleep, not knowing what she was crying for -- I just felt so helpless that most times I ended up crying with her (hubby then had to pacify and take care of 'two babies').
But that's all behind us now :) well, at least most of those! Much as we felt so disoriented, just imagine what the baby was feeling di ba? From the warm comforts of the womb, she was 'yanked' into a cold, noisy and vast world. Just thinking about how Z must've felt makes me feel terrible for even complaining.
Right now I'm just extremely happy that we got through the topsy-turvy first month, just feels fantastic! :) While I don't know what the coming months have in store for us, I'm pretty sure that with God's help we'll do just fine.
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Our first moments as a family -- with our carers and first visitors |
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First Month! Thank you Mama Medy for the food you prepared, Auntie Bel for the yummy Z cookies and Auntie Shirley for my first choco cake! |
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Baked goodies from Tita Bel and Tito Paul Ang - thank you! :) |
Happy first month our dear Zarita! We're always here for you and we love you so so much! Mommy and Daddy are excited to see you grow and do wonderful things in life! Hugs and kisses always, our princess! :)
I super love this post! You are most welcome co-Mommy Madz!!! Don't worry, all moms go through the things that you are going through though not all experiences are the same for us. Basta if you need me, I'm just here. Anytime night or day, just give me a call. Congrats again to you and Andrew and Happy First Month to Baby Z!!! :D
ReplyDeleteHey there! I really appreciate all your messages and advise Mommy Ayee! :) All those sweet and reassuring texts makes me feel warm and fluffy (stuffed toy ang peg? haha) and loved. Thank you Ayee!! :) I'll see you girls soon! :)
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